The thing I worry about the most is failure. I worry about a lot of small daily things and a few other larger things, but the theme is definitely failure.
It’s the kind of worry that brings paralysis. For instance, for years I was so scared of failing at school and not knowing what I could be successful at, that I just didn’t go. Didn’t even apply, and when I attempted courses every couple years, I would become a horrible student. This isn’t a healthy worry at all. But I’m definitely getting better at working through the anxiety and keeping focus on the bigger picture.
I worry about failing courses and wasting money and time, I worry about doing a couple years of my degree and finding out that it’s not for me, I worry about graduating and not being able to find a job, I worry about if I find a job and it’s not good enough to support the family I want to build. I worry about if I will be a bad mother someday, a bad partner, a bad friend. I know I’ve been a bad sister.
I don’t believe that there is a life after I die, so mostly I worry that I will have wasted my life.
Being an adult sucks, because it’s all on you to accomplish what you want, and to even decide what you want in the first place.
That probably sounds really pessimistic, and it kind of is. I think it’s easier to be able to adjust your goals and do what you need rather than try to live up to someone else’s idea of what you should be or what their plan is.
When I worry about little things I basically worry about failing to start or to complete them, so it’s all the same sort of thing.
Thing thing thing! I say that a lot haha, sorry!
One thing I don’t fail at is being a good knitter.